Saying 'Yes' to Scary Things

I love my comfort zone. I can always count on it. It’s quiet there, soft and still. A place where I can lay my head, gather my thoughts, and catch my breath after a long day. It can be a soft buffer between my tender heart and a noisy world. Often when I’m there, I find connection with my higher self and have delightful conversations with my guides. I’m able to review my experiences and receive nutrition from the choices I made, whether they went well or not. Gathering up clues about how I did when I was in “the game” so I could improve and evolve. It’s a perfect escape when the world demands so much. But I dare not sit there too long and get too comfortable or the fire that’s in my belly, craving adventure, begins to smolder and snuff out.

I view our comfort zone much like base in a game of tag. Remember when we were kids and we’d gather some friends together at someone’s house on a hot summer afternoon? We’d establish the rules, pick a location for base, determine the boundaries, and one kid would be “it.” And then we were off like a rocket, running in the yard trying not to be caught.

Base was where we could rest, catch our breath, and strategize our next moves. We’d plot our route around trees and behind cars, the perfect path to staying just outside of reach from the kid chasing us. Chest burning from breathing hard and bellies aching from laughter, it was always a favorite way to pass the time. But the game wasn’t fun if all the kids stayed on base. In fact it was an unspoken agreement that it was rude. You weren’t being daring enough, risking enough and if everyone stayed on base the game would be over. It would be too boring and everyone would leave in a huff.

No, the game is played when you leave base. When you let go and run like crazy. The game is over if you get complacent and scared. That’s life ladies and gentlemen. Life is played when we leave our comfort zone. Life thrives when we are brave enough to risk our comfort for something greater, something more exciting. Our comfort zone is a momentary pause, but is never intended to be long term. Stay there and you’ll get used to that small space and fear what might happen if you leave it.

I see this so often with my clients. They come to me, asking for guidance, craving more in life but feeling confused as to why they can’t get out of the rut. Their souls are gray and hazy, unfulfilled and sad. Their mind is swirling with strategies and desires, but they take no action. And when there is no action, the desires wane and go dim, leaving them to feel like they’ve missed a window of opportunity but not realizing it was by their own hand. They have limited their own possibilities all because leaving the comfort zone felt too dangerous, too hard. And so they stayed on base.

But this is not what we were born for. Our souls came into this incarnation to expand, to experience all that was available. And yes, that means putting yourself out there and risking your comfort. But that is where the game is played my darling! We get to say yes to the hard things because it’s the hard things that shape our lives. Saying yes to new experiences is how we figure out who we really are. When something comes alive within you, calling you to try something, it’s your soul screaming at you, “This is who you are! Do it!”

Even as I write this I am mentally packing for a trip to the Ashland forest in Oregon. I’ll be spending the next 6 days in total and complete darkness. Sitting in the silence, stripping away all forms of distraction: time, sight, sound, people, and technology. I will have nothing but the company of my own self, my thoughts, my tears, and my internal conversations with my soul. It’s very scary! It is a crash course in pure presence, and I’m all for it. This is something my ego has tried several times to talk me out of. But I’m doing it. I’m staying curious and being brave. I’m willing to have whatever the darkness has for me. And I’m certain that I’ll forever be changed by it, in the best way possible.

You see, for me, fear just isn’t powerful enough. My own ego isn’t strong enough to talk me out of the adventures ahead. I learned years that the only agenda the ego has is to keep us small, quiet, and still. It can control us that way. It can count on our survival if we stay on base and don’t get in the game. But my dear, that isn’t where life is played. Take a deep breath, let go of base, and let’s go play!